Tastes Like:

I’ve never been a big fan of the specialty “energy” foods. Perhaps it was my early experiences with PowerBars back when they were still developing the recipe in 1986, which tainted my opinion. I recall a hot and windy road race in the desolate foothills near Walnut Creek, Ca. An area surely covered by track housing and strip malls today. The PowerBar leaked out of the wrapper like some sort of high density, fudge milkshake, covering the inside of the center pocket of my wool jersey. I was young and impressionable. Highly concerned about fitting in. Getting dropped in a bike race and looking like I crapped myself then stuck the poo in my pocket was not going to win me friends and it was pretty much crystal clear that I couldn't win races.

My next PowerBar memory was the following winter on Skyline Road above Palo Alto, on a group ride with Eric Heiden, the speed skating Michael Phelps of the 1980 winter Olympics. The whole ride is fodder for a different story, but suffice it to say; still hypercritical of my presentation, I bit into the bar while riding next to the 7-Eleven team rider’s left leg which was as big as me. I about broke my jaw because the damned bar was frozen solid.

As I developed as a racer I tried again the trendy bars and gels but found the specialty stuff to ignite my digestive track and clear a motel room of all 5 or more of my roomies. I learned about ham sandwiches, Fig Neutons, Pop Tarts and pastries of all varieties. I further justified my desire for “real” foods on long rides and in races because that is what the Pro’s ate. Even today, a mussette bag in a Grand Tour has more pastries than gel packs.

I still maintain that Pop Tarts, the cinnamon ones, are one of the greatest snack foods in the world. I love Pop Tarts. Cinnamon Pop Tarts. Sans Toaster.

I’m fast approaching 40 and not riding my bike. Exercise, as rehab isn’t burning the calories like regularly riding a bike. Last month I had to buy new pants in a bigger size. FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR! I can’t get away with eating the way I am accustomed to any longer. I need more salads, more whole grains. Fewer Pop Tarts.

Last week, I found High Fiber Pop Tarts. They have a dryer, less cakey taste than the white flower variety, but match the same sugary, cinnamon spice nectar. I imagine on a long ride they won’t offer the sugar spike like the traditional tarts, but again; I’m not riding my bike so what do I care? I can wash them down with a beer while stretching out the exercise band and watching TV if I get the knock. Besides, at this point in my life and past impaction experience, a little extra fiber can go a long way.