For Markie

So a number of years ago, this friend bought an RV for something like $50 and some trade. He was really excited for his purchase but he had two problems: He's no 'wrench' and he had no where to park it. Like showing up to a Toga party and being the only one in a Toga, he realized about 10 minutes into proud ownership that the neighbors weren't happy to wake up every morning and look at a Randy Quaid-esque motor lodge out their window.

Years passed. Various friends' driveways, alleys, backyards and parking lots allowed temporary solice to the aboration of adventure. I rode in it once. We had to move it from one lodging to another and leave quietly. Call it driving to the start of our Saturday morning bike ride. While crossing the Ross Island Bridge and contemplating the roadway passing under foot, (literally, I could see the ground under my dangling feet from the passenger seat!) Markie told me about driving it to Burning Man, or rather driving it 20-miles to the edge of town where it asphyxiated itself in an attempt at an automotive hara kiri and he and his band of desert loving friends had to rent an actual RV to merely pass the county line.

Bottom line, the RV was a piece of crap. Old, abused, needing much work, its endearment was that for years, (i.e. Two presidents') full terms Markie couldn't unload it or justify fixing it. I always smiled to read posts on chat boards and facebook about its adventures. Travails like trying to donate it to various groups and organizations but being denied. Here's a tip when considering a used automobile: if college kids won't take it for free to drink in, (even if you fill it with kegs) don't buy it. Homeless advocate groups weren't interested. Offers on Craigslist; "Great running V8 complete with attached shelter" brought no interest. I was convinced it was meant to be with my friend forever. Like Johnny Depp's Winona tattoo. Or a disease.

Alas, I read in the below email tonight that the RV has gone to younger men full of grace. May their humor never wear thin or fever fall on their spirit.




To some the Hobbit is the end, but there is Lord of the Rings
To others Ketuvim is the end, but there is Mathew (Bible references, folks, look 'em up)
To some there was the 1918 world series, but others know of 2004 (they got lucky-go Yanks!)

And so there is a man, he is mortal.

If you prick him, he will bleed
If you tickle him, he will laugh
If you poison him, he will die
And if you wrong him, shall he not revenge?
(apologies for the liberties with grammar Will)

That man in Jens Voigt.
He is even my age, but yet he is ageless. He is two score with seven children.
A modern hardman in the tradition of many before him.

He has even influenced those who live 5,211.14 miles away from him (or 8,386.29 K for your euro-geeks)

A Team with vision, a team with verve and elan, and free Mohawks to all who wish them
Yea Verily, I speak of Jens Voigt's Army, the JVA from beloved Portland. Viz: http://teamjva.com/

Today, 1/5/12 is the end and the beginning (though not quite the Alpha and Omega- I used up my bible reference above)
Today, 1/5/12 a dawning of a new era is upon us
Today 1/5/12 a rebirth, as the mighty Phoenix, born from the ashes of it's own nest (Or leaky oil pan, dealer's choice)

Today JVA took possession of the Cross Crusade RV. It is now theirs to use as they see fit, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent owner may of right do (Apologies for the liberties with the grammar Thom).

They say they will fix her,
They say they will make her run well again
They say they will cover her in Paisley (as a fan of the Dead Milkmen, I wish they'd cover her with a Big Lizard, but she's theirs now, not mine, Eat Your Paisley was 1/2 the Album Big Lizard was)

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I come to bury you all not to praise you, unless you are part of the JVA, in which case I salute you!

I can't wait to see what happens next, I've already bookmarked, "JVA, RV Injury, I told him not to do that" on youtube!