Incognito

A few weeks ago G and I were at Home Depot and amid the excitement of buying project supplies he pee'd his pants. Sucks, but goes with the territory of late. It seems he's been swinging at bad pitches and watching the good ones pass over the plate without even flinching. He'll stand or sit at the porcelain with no action, then do the cowboy walk through the doorknob aisle with urine seeping out his shoes.

"It's all a process," I told us both trying to be an example and stay cool as we left the store. People laughed at his scowl or asked,"Why the pouting, little man?" I didn't understand that one as anyone only had to look at his soaked pants or the trail of urine droplets from his Lighting McQueen kicks to figure out why a 3 year old might turn foul. Hell, my smile would be upside down if I drained my bladder into my Samba's in public.

Two weeks and some heavy head colds pass and G and I find ourselves back at Home Depot to pick up some small bits to finish our project. It's pouring rain and snowing a little so I say to him that we gotta hurry so we can get back before the inside of the car gets cold again. He agrees but stalls while insisting to put on his sunglasses.

I'll be honest; I don't care if the kid wears pajamas to church. He's got a doll named Abby that's either his sister or daughter depending on the day. Abby doesn't bother me. Abby's mom is always A so him being the dad gets a little dicey, but he's also got a Rocky Balboa action figure and fire trucks and helicopters so the doll doesn't shake my conviction that he's all dude.

Suffice it to say the shades have no effect other than slowing us down. Inside the store people point and laugh. Ha, ha, funny stuff, a kid in shades on a rainy day. Great, I'm in a hurry. G's a good sport, keeping up and not wandering off to collect stuff he thinks we need. What we need are 2 electrical plug covers and one more tube of paneling glue. We get through the store unscathed and back to the car before the seats even got cold. All is well.

Then at home it hit me. He wore the shades because he didn't want to be recognized as the kid who left a puddle of pee in the store two weeks ago. I wish I could buy him a beer.